Family life and stand still don’t mix; the past twelve months have brought such excitement with also apprehension, tension and worry.
Ki-Yan came into this world at 6.05am Thursday 1st February 2007 at Birmingham Women’s Hospital, not in the usual delivery suite. Receiving call 5.20am (midwife), I was full of excitement not knowing what to fully expect, no anti natal clinics - nothing. My previous experience witnessing life was in the animal variety calf’s and fouls in Ireland while on many holidays over the years.
Becoming a father (dad) was something I’ve never contemplated with having CF and maybe feeling a burden in relationships. Witnessing other adults getting on with life becoming parents etc finally persuaded me that there’s so much more to offer. Meeting Li and Gawin (son 10yrs) changed everything.
Taking part in the above programme (November 2007) raised lots of history from the past, psychologically which impacted on my health with so many changes mortgage, marriage, continuing voluntary work, going down the ICSI route and changing jobs in addition to new family life, I don’t really know how I managed to get through it all. Anyway back to the day that changed it all, finishing my nebs after getting up at 5am I was ready to drive off in pitch black the 20 minute journey. Arriving, quickly finding car-parking space ironically the same area from the night before when myself and Gawin left Li at 8pm.
Ward 1 was the destination where Li was waiting within 5 bedded bays, pulling back the curtain; we were just minutes away from seeing our baby which would conclude our 18 month journey from first referral August 2006.
Midwife working independently instructed Li to move back on to the bed with help this happened then before we knew it! Two large pushes brought Ki-Yan into the world I was elated Li went from agonising pain to complete fulfilment the transition was amazing.
Weighing 7lb 11oz we could all relax knowing fingers and toes all in the right added up correctly. Cutting umbilical cord made me feel fully involved – unexpected bonus.
Because of quick delivery there was evidence of bruising, which we were reassured this was temporary; this was later to be insignificant to what would follow later. Letting mummy and baby rest I returned on the evening with Gawin and family members. Ki Yan’s markings still evident, only his breathing was very raised. This concerned me and was something we would watch for over the coming hours. Li’s back ground is nursing (Intensive Care Specialist Nurse), the following morning midwife and a junior doctor (day 2 on the job) arrived where discussion took place; Ki-Yan then was transferred to neonatal clinic. The atmosphere changed dramatically from elation to feeling devastated with the fear of not knowing Ki-Yan’s complication. Thinking back to those moments we all bonded from there, those proved to be our building blocks, when diagnosis came through “Wet lungs” the relief was unbelievable, receiving treatment and monitoring after 7/8 days Ki-Yan was back on the ward. Changing nappies, feeding baby, getting regular sleep was now the new challenge. First 3 months sleep, bottle, up to 6 months Ki-Yan’s character and smile are evident all the time, by 9 months he’s rolling around great appetite taking notice of things using TV remote control watching CBeebies. 2 days before Christmas starts front crawling.
Started nursery January 2008 settling in, celebrated Chinese New Year came home covered in glitter and paint. Not quite walking but walking with assistance very independent noticeable from manager of nursery. Can communicate with mummy and dad also learnt Chinese for milk, difficult to recognise when not fluent in another language.
Between us all, Ki-Yan brings us laughter and warmth, currently likes to knock down building block towers, sitting on interactive rocker pressing buttons looking at you with a cheeky smile, who can tell what joys lay ahead. My challenge is to be there at every opportunity sharing these experiences within the family, while beginning Coast to Coast walk (192 miles) 15 – 27 March 2008 all the training and preparation will help towards enjoying future years running around trying to keep up doing things together.
